should i stay or go??

Nov. 2, 2009

Should I stay or should I go now.
The moment I set foot in Zagreb from Lika, I felt free.

Not only free from the challenge of living at the Centre and isolation of farm life, but like I was free to start all over in my life. The delete button had been pushed while I was on the train. I think subconsciously, I went to the Centre to purge the remnants of grief and pain that I was still clinging to from a huge heartbreak last year.

As soon as I hit the streets in Zagreb, I new my luck had changed for great. I even knew the right sarcastic quip to stun the punk ass kids who were harassing me for dragging my bike box. They called out, I called back with something funny and cutting, and they laughed, I laughed, and it’s all going to be fine.

Zagreb has all you could ever want from a big, cosmopolitan city, but only one million people, and the subtle coolness of ex Eastern Block mentality. It is like a manageable New York with all the style, quick pace and cultural infusion. It is a beauty culture and café society, so at noon and five, choose your seat at one of the multitude of outdoor cafes, and watch the promenade.

I love it here. I can’t tell you why, because I have always been drawn to Latin countries. But this place resonates with me deeply, I like there subtle harshness for some reason. I am finding it easy to meet like minded people who share my love of outdoors, and the yoga community is fresh, small and inspiring. I have decided to stay as long as I can.

Doors are opening for me, and I don’t have to struggle. My new friends have overwhelmed me with graciousness. I have been offered classes at Divya (www.yogazagreb.com) and more workshops, my new yoga teacher friend Danijel (www.ashtanga.hr) is helping me teach and supporting me in so many ways to make my experience here incredible. Marija from Linden is helping also, (www.lindenretreat.com) I have been offered cell phones to borrow, free places to stay, and jobs to contact, biking buddies, running groups. Hrvoje and his mates take me rock-climbing, and his band practice. I am utterly overwhelmed with everyone’s generosity, and real desire to help in any way they can to make my stay so pleasant.

I have decided to stay another month. And in that time not only will I continue my workshop and yoga teaching schedule, but look for a more permanent job. I checked with the American Embassy and there is a bunch of paper work, temp immigration and blah,blah stuff that will be about $500 USD to start. That.s when I got my first wave of fear, and alone-ness. Can I do this, with no money, leaving my friends and my fancy shoe collection?? So scary to step out on your own. Someone once told me to do something once a day that scares the shit out of you. I did my part for today.

I will give it a month of working to put things together, and watching to see what unfolds and which doors keep opening if I am supposed to stay….

The time feels right to follow my heart….
Wish me luck!!

Xo, Tonja